This is what's been going around in my head this morning. Last night I had a conversation with my sister. We are trying to call each other every week to keep up with each other and it's been great!
She & her husband are amazing people. Parents of 4 with their oldest son a special needs kid with a rich, deep faith in Christ. I am always amazed at the way they have grown closer in spite of a lot of difficult issues facing them at times. They just celebrated their 12th year of marriage and she's been a huge supporter of me and my family over the years. I was telling my sister that I am sure God is going to use her life & experiences to touch others (if he hasn't already) - it wouldn't surprise me if she either wrote a book or began speaking to others someday about how God has been there for her and her family & to bring hope to others struggling with special needs kids or really, life in general. She wrote a blog for a friend of hers a year or two back and it was powerful (if you ever want to know what a mom of a special needs kid is thinking, you should check it out - maybe I can figure out how to link to it someday).
Anyway, what is riling me up this morning is the fact that it's hard to watch them struggle sometimes. As she has told me, she would do anything to help her son find ways to succeed & be part of society. In trying to do that, she has found rejection. I won't go into details, it's not my story to tell, but it is hard to see people who love Christ, be so unloving to each other. Much of it, I'm afraid, stems from fear of the unknown. Knowing my nephew is a special needs kid and having seen him at his worst (and it can be pretty bad), the answer was a resounding, hurtful "no." I get it, but it doesn't make it any easier to hear about.
What it makes me realize is do I do that to others with similar issues? I' don't think I've ever been in a position to say no to someone but I'm sure I've judged kids based on the outward behavior I've seen and thought to myself, "I want to steer clear of them." Honestly, in years past, that's been my thoughts with my own nephew at times. Purely not understanding what was going on in his head & why he couldn't just stop behaving that way if he really wanted to.
What I'm realizing with Caleb is that while yes, he has some issues & can make some choices about his behavior, much of his melt-downs & behavioral issues are not his choice and his parents are doing EVERYTHING they can to find ways to change the behavior. If he could choose, he would choose to behave well and to get along with people. Over the past year God has been giving me a small understanding of what's going on with Caleb which gives me greater compassion and patience for him.
How many kids have I seen act up and it isn't a case of bad parenting but of a neurological imbalance? How many parents in the grocery store, playground, etc... do I need to stop judging and just love and support?
God, help me to be more loving to the moms & dads I see around me. Help me to be supportive and understanding instead of critical and rude. And help Caleb find his places to succeed and excel and most of all to know Your love for Him.
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Thanks for listening and loving me well last night. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and your feelings about some of the things I deal with daily along with how you feel convicted and have grown over the years. I can't even tell you how convicted I have felt at times because of the way I've treated Caleb or other children because I thought they could just stop doing whatever was causing the problem. I love you.
Jenn
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