This morning my heart was really heavy for my sister Jenn & her family. They have been having more issues with their son Caleb as well as recently finding out Joel's father was diagnosed with cancer. This morning I found myself really questioning God. I know he is a healing God, why doesn't he heal or even just regulate Caleb's seizures, etc... Why add cancer for Caleb's Grandpa, who is a huge source of help & encouragement for them into the mix? How does this glorify God? On the way to church I was looking out the window thinking how I can somewhat understand how some people who don't know God would choose not to believe (I was feeling pretty low).
We got to church (we're attending a new church, Constance Free in Andover) and went in to worship. During the first song, I just started crying (and I it's been a while since that has happened). I think it was a song about the goodness of God or something (I can't even remember what the song was). During the second song I went from crying to bawling as God touched my heart and gave me reassurances that he is in the midst of all of this & that he would sustain my sister & her husband. The song was Everlasting god by Chris Tomlin. I know I've heard the song many times, but the lines "strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord" just struck me today.
Here are the lyrics (they get repeated a lot):
Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord
We will wait upon the Lord
We will wait upon the Lord
Our God, You reign forever
Our hope, our Strong Deliverer
You are the everlasting God
The everlasting God
You do not faint
You won't grow weary
You're the defender of the weak
You comfort those in need
You lift us up on wings like eagles
My prayer tonight is that Jenn & Joel, Jerry & Maryann will feel God's presence and the comfort that He brings!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
Thanks Kristie for sharing your struggle and tough heart questions.
I have also been asking God my own questions. Thankfully God is big enough to be able to handle them. I recently read a commentary on Job and how Job laid it all out there and told God how he was feeling. Not like God didn't know already! :)
I question whether God is really in control here. It seems like to me that the thing to do is heal and have a miracle here, but that is not what God is choosing to do. God may reveal to us the why of our pain and he may never, but even in that I trust. I trust that He IS in control and he does love me and will be with me through every pain and joy filled step of my journey.
Jenn
Thank you Kristie for expressing what so many of us are feeling!
Even though we know God is in control it is impossible to understand His ways. It is good that He gives us examples like Job so that we can know it's okay to tell Him how we feel when it feels like everything is coming unglued! I do thank and praise Him for the strong faith that you, Jenn and your families demonstrate. As a parent it is so difficult to watch your children suffer through things that are out of your and their control. Just know that Mom and I love you all very much!!
Post a Comment