Leaking Joy and mentors

A while back I blogged about my quest to find more joy in my life and figure out more of what it means to live a joy-filled life. That quest has been an on-again, off-again quest but yesterday I feel like I came upon another nugget of truth in that search.

I was reading a chapter in the book Balance that Works when Life Doesn't. I've referenced it before and it's been a book that I keep working my way sloooowly through. Anyway, in one of the chapters she talks about our thought life and she made a reference to a carton she once watched where the main character gets shot with arrows but goes about his business. A while later he goes and drinks a glass of milk and then all the milk leaks out through the arrow holes. She talked about her inconsistent thought-life keeping her from filling those holes. When we have wounds that need healing or areas we need to work on, our joy can just keep coming out even when we're pouring more truth and God into our lives. That struck a chord with me as that's the way I feel in regard to living a joy-filled life.

She went on to reference Phil. 4:8 - "Fix your thoughts on what is true and honorable and right. Think about things that are pure and lovely and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise."

As she unpacked each of the things we are to have our eyes fixed upon, it made me realize how my lack of self-discipline in my thought life was probably one of the major ways I was continually losing my joy. Continuing to be intro-spective or stuck on a way someone hurt me, gossip or thinking about someone else's weaknesses, negative thoughts in general, down on my kids, beating myself up with my short-comings and failures all keep me from living in a state of joy. Wow! Talk about a "Aha! moment."

I've been asking God to make me more aware of how I let my thought-life stray and he's been showing me. It's saddening to realize all the time I take my eyes off Jesus and how much of the time my "eyes" seem to be fixed on me and my problems. Definitely not giving them to God, but thinking through and worrying about how I am going to fix them. Seeing how, after someone hurt me, I kept thinking about it over and over. I realize not all of that is bad and that sometimes you do have to think about life but I spend much of my day doing that instead of fixing my eyes on Jesus...

I'm not sure how well I've been able to write down my thoughts from yesterday or what God seems to be revealing to me and honestly, I don't think I completely get it yet either. I'm still processing and probably should reread the chapter.

I am excited about receiving this nugget of truth and even more excited that I think God has more in store for me to learn and apply. I have long desired to have a mentor. I have prayed about it for a long time. The thought of having someone come along side, hold me accountable and allow me to be me, provide wisdom & guidance and just allow God to work in my heart, healing, restoring, and help me to "fix my eyes on Jesus" is hugely appealing to me.

At Constance, where we go to church, they have a mentoring program. I am soooo excited! I met today with the leader of the group and another woman who is a perspective mentor about entering the program. It's a 1-on-1 mentoring program where you meet weekly and go through a series of books put together just for this purpose. I am going to pray about it and look through the books this next week but am very excited to have this opportunity. So pray for me that God would put me together with the "right" mentor and that He would just help me dive deeper in my walk with Him!